We all have something we are trying to control. The outcome of a situation, the timing of a goal or desire. Maybe it’s that promotion at work, a ring on your finger, a diet… The more you try to control something the less in alignment you become. No matter how much you want something if you aren’t ready for it, and if the timing isn’t right.. it won’t happen.
This can be difficult to accept.. so when this thing we want isn’t happening we try to control it even more. We get more frustrated, and discouraged and literally become a block for ourselves. All this negativity creates major resistance on our path and blocks ourselves from receiving what we want. We get so focused on the thing… that we completely miss the signs around us, we miss our intuition trying to guide us, we ignore our own inner wisdom!
What we need to do instead is to release our control, trust the journey, and allow the universe to lead the way. Gabby Bernstein (one of my favourite spiritual teachers) says there are 5 steps for surrendering and releasing control and they go something like this:
1. Take your hands off the wheel
We often sit there with our kung fu grip on the situation praying for the outcome we want. Stop praying for what you think you need. Stop praying for a specific thing that you want to receive at a specific time. Instead pray for what is in the highest good for everyone – this is when doors will open and huge shifts will happen! When you do this you will feel a weight being lifted. Keep praying for the highest good for everyone, focus on that and you will see massive change. Remember, the plan in your head isn’t half as good as the one the universe has waiting for you.
2. Focus on what’s thriving
This one is pretty straight forward, stop focusing on what you don’t have and what’s not working in your life. Instead focus on what IS working and what you DO have! This will take so much pressure off and align you with a more positive vibration instead of a controlling one.
For instance, I am trying to grow my Instagram following. Instead of focusing so much on the numbers and the fact that they fluctuate constantly I’ve chosen to focus on my content. I’m focusing on my writing, my creativity, and the followers I do have who message me, comment on my photos and truly enjoy my page. The more I focus on these things that are working out, the more at ease I will be, the better my content will be and naturally the more people will flow into my life and onto my instagram.
3. Understand that obstacles are detours in the right direction
I’ve talked about this before. We can’t see the master plan.. we are too close to our own lives to see the whole map. We think the shitty things that happen are bad luck or that they hold us back from our desired destination BUT in reality they are course correcting us to our goal or an even better one. A lost job, a health diagnosis, a relationship ending – choose to see what the opportunities are in these detours. In what way are these detours taking you in the right direction? Ultimately it’s during the hard times where we experience the most growth and the most clarity for the future. I think back to some of my difficult times and I am so thankful for them. If I had gotten what I wanted in those situations I wouldn’t be where I am today. Trust your struggle.
4. Ask for a sign that you are on the right path
Take the time to meditate and ask the universe to send you a sign. A bit of reassurance to let you know you are on the right path. Get specific with this!
For example, when I was launching my blog I, out loud, asked the universe to show me a butterfly as a symbol that it was time to launch. I had been looking for every reason to postpone launching because I was afraid of putting myself out there in such a major way. Later that week I was at work and one of my colleagues was watching a youtube video. I watched some of it with her then returned to my office to work. A few moments later she came into my office and said “finish watching this video with me”. She pushed play on the remainder of the video and the vlogger was sitting in a different room then she previously had been and the room had decorative butterflies all over the wall. I got chills! This was the sign I had been waiting for. That same week I hit launch on my blog.
It’s important to understand that this may not happen right away, it could even take a couple weeks. The universe isn’t here to put on a show for you so do not expect it to happen instantly, be patient and open. You need to be aware and OPEN to receiving a sign. You can’t ask for a sign then get swept up in the day-to-day hustle and bustle, stress and frustration of life that you completely miss your sign. Be present!
5. When you think you’ve surrendered, surrender more
Let the universe show you where to go and what to do. Be patient. The moment you feel yourself trying to force things or manipulate them into happening and going your specfic way… take a step back, meditate and pray. The fastest way to remind yourself to surrender is to breath deep and and say out loud ” I surrender my plans to the universe because I know that they are much greater than mine. I pray for the highest good for everyone and let the universe lead the way.”
So what is it you need to release control of today? You know exactly what it is. The universe does not align with a controlling nature, the universe does not hurry. Humans hurry, that is why we feel stress and anxiety. Follow the steps, be patient and understand that whatever is meant to be yours will be in divine timing.
All photos in this post were taken by Alexandra of Alexa Studios